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Cheating, Porn & More: Chris Rock Spills All The Tea In ‘Tamborine’

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Chris Rock is telling all in his new Netflix comedy special, Tamborine. No seriously, ALL.

In the comedian’s first stand up routine in nearly 10 years, the New York native is unveiling the truth behind his failed marriage, porn, personal woes and even politics.

Here are four fun random thoughts from Rock’s 60 minute special, streaming now.

Porn: “I was not a good husband. I was f*cked-up. I was addicted to porn. I know, billion-dollar industry, just me, right? I was addicted to porn and, you know, I was 15 minutes late everywhere. I got some witnesses. When you watch too much porn, you know what happens? Here’s what happens,” he said.

“You become sexually autistic. You develop sexual autism. You have a hard time with eye contact and verbal cues. You want everything to be routine. It’s like, you can’t choke your woman every night. You gotta mix it up. Choke Out Thursdays. What happens when you watch too much porn is you get desensitized,” the comedian explained. “When you start watching porn, any porn’ll do. “Ah, they’re naked. Woo-hoo.” Then, later on, you’re all fucked-up. And you need is a perfect porn cocktail to get you off. I was so fucked-up, I need an Asian girl with a black girl’s ass that speaks Spanish just to get my dick to move an inch. I’m a lot better now.”

Cheating on his wife: “I’m a f*ckin’ asshole, man. I wasn’t a good husband. I wasn’t a good husband. I didn’t listen. I wasn’t kind. True, true. I had an attitude. I thought, ‘I pay for everything, I can do what I want,'” he admitted.

He continued, “That sh*t don’t f*ckin’ work. I didn’t play the tambourine. You gotta play the tambourine. Everybody gotta play the tambourine. I cheated. Yeah, I’m serious. I’m not bragging. I’d go on the road, end up sleeping with three different women. It’s, like, f*cked-up. When guys cheat, we want something new. But then your woman finds out, and now she’s new. She’s never the same again.”

“So, now you got new, but you got bad new. You got bad fuckin’ new, man,” Chris said. “Every woman in here is like, “Fuck you, Chris. I thought you was all right. You? Come on, Chris. What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with men?” Every woman in here is thinking that and every guy in here is going, “Three? That’s it? Just three? Goddamn, nigga. I work at UPS. I got more hos than that. Three? You must have really loved your wife. You’re a romantic.”

Gun violence and police brutality: “You would think the cops would occasionally shoot a white kid, just to make it look good,” he opened the special with. “You would think that every couple of months, they would look at their dead (N-word) calendar and go, ‘Oh my god, we’re up to 16! We gotta shoot a white kid, quick!’ ‘Which one?’ ‘The first one you see singing Cardi B.'”

Religion: “Religion’s like salt. A little’s good. Too much will f*ck up the meal,” he joked. “I mean, I’m basically trying to find God before God finds me. But God never finds you at a good time. You’re never sittin’ courtside at a Knicks game gettin’ a hand job from Halle Berry, God shows up. ‘Ah, she strokes a good d*ck, don’t she? I made her! I made your d*ck, too. Enjoy the game!’”

Tamborine is the first of two Netflix specials for Rock.

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