Beyonce’s Lemonade gave fans a deeper look into the troubled relationship between she and husband Jay Z, and now, Jay is taking a page out of his wife’s book and telling all.
In connection with his new album 4:44, Jay released an 11-minute video titled “Footnotes for ‘4:44,'” where he opens up about his troubled marriage with the mother of his now three children. “This is my real life,” Jay says in the visual.
He adds, “I just ran into this place and we built this big, beautiful mansion of a relationship that wasn’t totally built on the 100 percent truth and it starts cracking. Things start happening that the public can see.”
While infidelity appears to be the main problem in the famous couple’s marriage, Jay admits that at one point he wanted to completely “tear this down and let’s start from the beginning.”
In the video, exclusive to Tidal subscribers, the 47-year-old says, “It’s hard. Remember we just talked about me: I’m from Marcy Projects. I’ve been shot at. But nothing is harder than this. By far. I’m telling you, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Most humans, us, you know what I mean? We’re not willing to put ourselves through that. Most people give up.”
And we can’t forget about the lyrics from the actual track “4:44″ where he raps, “What good is a ménage à trois when you have a soul mate? / You risked that for Blue? / My heart breaks for the day I had to explain my mistakes.”
In the visual, which also features stars like Chris Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Will Smith and Aziz Ansari opening up about the challenges of relationships with women, Jay claims he had to watch Bey leave, which practically killed him. “I was on a boat, and I had the best time. I was like, ‘Man, this is great.’ Then she had to leave,” he said.
The New York rappers says, “I was, like, crushed. I was like, ‘Man, I don’t even feel like this. What is happening to my body right now?’ I was like, ‘Don’t go.’ I was like, ‘Did I just say … all this is new for me. Don’t leave.”