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It’s been a crazy couple of years for Future. The rapper has seen the highest of highs in his music career, and the lowest of lows dealing with his ex-fiancée and son’s mother, Ciara. But, through it all, he always had music. And in a recent interview with Rolling Stone the rapper, formally known as Meathead, opens up about all the things that make him, him.

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One of those things is his love of lean. The “Dirty Sprite” rapper told RS how the drink is therapeutic. “At first, it wasn’t something that I loved,” he says. “It wasn’t till I discovered what I loved about it. Some people take drugs and they don’t understand the high. They take it just to be high.” He goes on to explain it’s affects on him, “It started making me more relaxed. Sometimes you experience anxiety, and it did me some good for that. I don’t feel like I ever abused it. I used it for what I felt was needed.”

Some of his anxiety has no doubt come from his on-going lawsuit with ex, Ci Ci. “I can’t deal with it,” he says, eyes hidden by reflector shades. “I can’t even think about it. I never imagined my life would be like that: ‘I’m going to sue you and take away from you.'” The studio, then, becomes a place to hide, too: “I don’t know how to deal with something like that,” he says. “All I know is record, record, record, record.”

And while he’s in the studio recording all day and night, there are rappers on the come up that seem to be stealing his style. But, Future wants no part of that conversation. “I never worried about anyone else … I don’t even want his name in the article,” he says of Desiigner.

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